If you’re here, chances are you already know one thing for sure:

You’re not here for a traditional wedding.
Thank god.

You don’t want chair covers, color palettes, or a 12-hour day that feels like a performance for others. You want something real. Something intentional. Something that actually feels like you.

And yet… somehow… even planning your elopement — the “easy” version of getting married — can start to feel overwhelming.

If you’ve found yourself thinking:

• “What if we do this wrong?”
• “What if this doesn’t feel special enough?”
• “What if we’re missing something important?”

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just standing in the middle of too much information.

Let’s zoom out.

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Why Elopements Feel Overwhelming (Even Though They’re Simple)

Here’s the truth most people don’t say out loud:

Elopement planning isn’t overwhelming because elopements are complicated.
It’s overwhelming because there’s no default script.

There’s no checklist telling you:

• where you’re “supposed” to go
• how the day is “supposed” to look
• what makes it official, meaningful, or valid

You’re not choosing between options — you’re choosing the structure itself. And that can feel like a lot, especially if you’ve never done this before (spoiler: no one has).

So let me make this much simpler.

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What Actually Matters

There are only a handful of decisions that truly shape your elopement experience. Everything else is decoration.

Here’s what actually matters:

1. How you want the day to feel

Slow. Adventurous. Intimate. Cinematic. Cozy. Wild. Quiet. Playful. Emotional. Grounded.

Not how it looks on Instagram — how it feels in your body.

2. Where you want to be

This doesn’t mean the “perfect” spot. It means a place that feels aligned. A coastline you love. A desert that feels expansive. A forest that makes you breathe deeper.

You don’t need to optimize this. You just need to choose something that feels right.

3. Who’s there

Just the two of you. A few people you deeply trust. No one you feel obligated to manage.

This choice alone does more for your experience than any timeline tweak ever could.

4. How much of the experience you want documented

A short, focused window — or a full, lived-in day (or more).
Neither is “better.” They just tell different stories.

That’s it.

Those four things shape everything.

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What Feels Loud (But Usually Doesn’t Matter)

This is where most overwhelm lives.

Things like:

• “Doing it right”
• Whether it feels “wedding-y enough”
• Whether you’re missing something
• Comparing your plans to random strangers on the internet
• Trying to future-proof against regret

Here’s the thing:

Most of that noise comes from borrowed expectations, not your actual desires.

If you keep asking:

“What are we supposed to do?”

You’ll stay stuck.

If you instead ask:

“What would actually feel good for us?”

Things get quiet fast.

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A Reframe That Helps Almost Everyone

Instead of thinking about your elopement as a “wedding,” try this:

Plan it like the best trip of your life — that just happens to include getting married.

What would that trip look like?

• Slow mornings or early adventures?
• Wandering, driving, exploring?
• A ceremony at golden hour?
• Pizza after? Champagne? A bonfire? A hot tub? Absolute silence?

You already know the answers to this better than anyone else.

Your elopement doesn’t need to impress anyone.
It needs to feel true.

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A Quick Reality Check (From Someone Who’s Seen a Lot of These)

I’ve watched a lot of couples elope.

The ones who feel the most grounded aren’t the ones who planned the “perfect” day. They’re the ones who stopped trying to optimize every decision and trusted themselves instead.

No one has ever looked back and said:

“I wish we’d stressed more.”

But plenty of people are grateful they let the day be human.

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If You’re Still Feeling Stuck

That’s okay!

You don’t need to have everything figured out to move forward. You just need:

• a general direction
• a few values
• the willingness to let the rest evolve

This is a collaborative process — not a test you can fail.

And if you’re working with someone whose job is to remove pressure, not add it, you don’t have to carry this alone.

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The Bottom Line

Elopement planning isn’t hard.
Elopements are just open-ended.

Once you stop treating that openness like a problem and start treating it like permission, everything changes.

You don’t need to make this bigger than it is.
You just need to make it yours.

And trust me: that’s more than enough.

Want more help planning your elopement? Check out this blog post.